your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
