yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
