Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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