You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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