well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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