But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
operation have a gay friend backfired
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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