OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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