Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
