You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
