it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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