he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
