things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
