yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
