i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
