you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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