I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
