apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
