do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
