just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
