she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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