I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize