I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
