I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
