She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
