Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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