haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
