so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
