So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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