Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
