He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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