Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize