If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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