Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.

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  (310): Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist. http://tfl.nu/cj2p
  Replies (15) Good night (4181) Bad night (651)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein

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  (412): waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein http://tfl.nu/1rbx
  Replies (36) Good night (5228) Bad night (857)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.

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  (785): i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love. http://tfl.nu/j8m9
  Replies (29) Good night (9800) Bad night (1629)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm

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  (702): Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm http://tfl.nu/d1by
  Replies (1) Good night (2162) Bad night (765)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.

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  (920): He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer. http://tfl.nu/1gb8
  Replies (1) Good night (1742) Bad night (895)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity

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  (727): And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity http://tfl.nu/9e9v
  Replies (9) Good night (2409) Bad night (864)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.

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  (901): mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again. http://tfl.nu/wn4g
  Replies (8) Good night (887) Bad night (1539)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything

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  (813): no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything http://tfl.nu/ryp8
  Replies (12) Good night (1640) Bad night (814)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things

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  (319): Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things http://tfl.nu/stlu
  Replies (5) Good night (1287) Bad night (626)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.

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  (+64): Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please. http://tfl.nu/o748
  Replies (8) Good night (1118) Bad night (579)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.

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  (859): Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo. http://tfl.nu/co0z
  Replies (2) Good night (878) Bad night (441)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.

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  (515): I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me. http://tfl.nu/axuf
  Replies (10) Good night (496) Bad night (1447)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..

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  (732): Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say.. http://tfl.nu/7n6y
  Replies (3) Good night (567) Bad night (308)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.

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  (813): It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis. http://tfl.nu/yjsc
  Replies (7) Good night (511) Bad night (830)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.

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  (720): Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar. http://tfl.nu/9cgo
  Replies (3) Good night (1119) Bad night (286)

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