Having a random hookup so left but love u
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.