i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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