Texts From Last Night

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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.

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  (808): The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet. http://tfl.nu/mtia
  Replies (12) Good night (1454) Bad night (725)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes

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  (972): how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes http://tfl.nu/yix3
  Replies (73) Good night (1101) Bad night (3805)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys

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  (413): Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys http://tfl.nu/qwfv
  Replies (47) Good night (1002) Bad night (8635)
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  (909): View more from California

  WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN

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  (909): WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN http://tfl.nu/7vj7
  Replies (185) Good night (4443) Bad night (19046)
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  And why did you do that?

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Tequila

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  (857): So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose. (617): And why did you do that? (857): Tequila http://tfl.nu/gjpj
  Replies (7) Good night (3843) Bad night (854)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself

  (207): View more from Maine

  OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...

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  (207): There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself (207): OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE (781): Sounds like a good blink 182 concert... http://tfl.nu/nai8
  Replies (27) Good night (1000) Bad night (3921)
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  (+26): View more from

  And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.

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  (+26): And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores. http://tfl.nu/l5oq
  Replies (29) Good night (4632) Bad night (612)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.

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  (513): I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here. http://tfl.nu/bgry
  Replies (11) Good night (2806) Bad night (1466)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?

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  (617): did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant? http://tfl.nu/svwz
  Replies (8) Good night (2027) Bad night (1026)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.

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  (970): Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose. http://tfl.nu/6jp2
  Replies (3) Good night (785) Bad night (1912)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.

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  (215): you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out. http://tfl.nu/raqc
  Replies (5) Good night (1049) Bad night (471)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.

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  (414): No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma. http://tfl.nu/kebr
  Replies (0) Good night (1046) Bad night (319)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him

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  (402): I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him http://tfl.nu/5l9m
  Replies (5) Good night (807) Bad night (253)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....

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  (706): I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it.... http://tfl.nu/dz68
  Replies (3) Good night (454) Bad night (201)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that

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  (908): it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that http://tfl.nu/wsh1
  Replies (1) Good night (412) Bad night (219)

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