if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Actions speak louder than pants.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
