So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
