we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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