I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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