i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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