Your dad touched me again.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
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