Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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