I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
