you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
