New invention idea: vibrating tampons
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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