i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
