hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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