No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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