Whod you bang
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
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Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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