My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
