Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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