I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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