My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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