My hair reeks of homosexuality.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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