You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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