Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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