I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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